Remember This...

REMEMBER THIS…GWAR’s Phallus In Wonderland
by Sam Haine

 R.I.P. Dave Brockie (Oderus Urungus)
            I bet you didn’t think I was going to take you here this Halloween. Well, I guess you were wrong in all the right ways you could be. Because before Mushroomhead, Slipknot, ICP came on the scene and way before Wes Borland started dressing up like Kung Fu Skeletor, there was Gwar.
            Gwar formed in 1984, they are a thrash band from Virginia comprised of a rotating line-up of musicians, artists and filmmakers from Slave Pit Inc. They are known for their elaborate and often grotesque appearances and sadistic stage performances. “Imagine a gumbo soup of blood, brains, Cthulhu, Barbarella, Snuff-porn Conan the barbarian, Guardians of the Galaxy, Luke Skysquirter, Skate metal and political and social satire.” If you are lucky enough to attend their shows then you are in possession of fond memories of celebrities being fed to worms, disembowed and beheaded like Oklahoma beauty queens; all these things while being splashed on the face Peter North style with more fluid than a Gallagher show. They were ugly; they were funny; their songs were really damn good and unforgettable.
            The Grammy nominated Phallus In Wonderland was their first full length film. It depicts the conflict between Gwar and The Morality Squad after the castration and theft of  Oderus Urungus’ Cuttlefish of Cthulhu. The Morality Squad consisting of a group of overtly hyper-sensitive knee jerky hypocritical stereotypes that today can easily be any of your favorite Fox News & MSNBC personalities: Corporal Punishment, Grambo, Tiny and we can’t forget the viscous filled Father Reverend Bohab. This piece is a musical. Sprinkled throughout this near hour long art piece are the romantic and beer sex inducing songs such as ‘Crack in the Egg’, ‘Have You Seen ME?’, ‘The Road Behind’, ‘The Morality Squad’, ‘Gor-Gor’ and ‘Ham on the Bone’.
            This is a musical.
            Starring: Oderus Urungus, Beefcake the Mighty, Balsac the Jaws of Death, Jizmax the Gusher, Sexecutioner, Slymenstra Hymen and Sleazy P. Martini. With a cameo appearance by Gibby Haynes of the Butthole Surfers.
            October is here, which means you’ll be filling up to the gullet with beer and getting ready for Halloween. I encourage, hope, and suggest this become the soundtrack to this year’s festivities and debauchery. In fact you should all watch this before heading out into the night and creating your future romances with the new Trevor Something album or Timecop1983’s recent release, just like I plan to do this month.
            So light your candles this month. Leave some food on your porch. Remember to join in the festivities on Mischief Night. And like every month keep your finger pressed down on that Rewind Button.

“It’s really Super, Sleazy”